No, I Will Not Be Your Friend

So this happens sometimes:

A new message in my Foursquare or Facebook account says someone wants to be my friend. Only it turns out it's some dude I don't know. Not only do I not know him, I've never even heard of him. He leaves no message offering any kind of assistance regarding whether or not we've met, or, if we haven't met, what made him decide we should meet. He often has no profile photo, or the one he has is not of himself. Or it's shot from 50 feet away! His profile is private or "friends only" telling me not where he lives, where he works or...you know, whether or not he likes to murder women to make a suit of their skins.

Thanks Corbis Images &
AwkwardStockPhotos.com

So, let me get this straight, straight-dude-I-don't-know (and at this point, will most likely never know): For whatever reason, you decided to connect with me, so I can share my private information with you, but you won't even give me the tiniest bit of information about yourself? Or even bother to introduce yourself like you would do in public? And I say straight dude because I have yet to see this behavior in anyone else. This doesn't surprise me considering the amount of given privilege required to presume that simply expressing interest in a woman, regardless of how minute the effort involved, is enough to make her open up to you completely (please feel free to interpret that phrase in as many multitudes of entendres as you like). 

Now many of you are probably thinking "Oh jeez, she's not going to make social networking into a whole big feminist thing now is she?!" Yes, she is. Or at least a little one. Look, it's bad enough that some guys honestly think that just buying a girl a drink in a bar or club, catcalling her on the sidewalk or brashly shouting "Hey, give me your number!" will earn him a trip into her pants. As if it would be so hard to say "hi", ask her first name, give her yours and spend a few minutes trying to engage with her as a human being before pouncing on her like a zoo tiger on a raw steak. Online social networking makes it even easier for creeps to be, well, creepy. Why bother with lewd gestures and leering when you can click a button. Yes, it may say "Add As Friend", but it probably should read "SEX NOW PLZ!". 

This isn't really new, and I know women it happens to with much greater frequency and intensity. (And I'm so, so sorry) However, it's relatively new to me, as, let's face it, I'm not the kind of girl who usually illicites an uncontrollably lustful reaction from men. (I'm not being self deprecating. I'd honestly prefer it to stay that way.) But seeing as how the internet allows you to reach more people than ever imagined, even I can find (i.e. be found by) the exact right creeps who would specifically enjoy making me uncomfortable. Um,...yay? Thanks, internet.



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