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4/13/11

Bunnies Suggest That There is No God

Like any good little agnostic, I'm constantly keeping a tally of arguments and observances for and against the existence of God. I'm not trying to be obnoxious or self-righteous, nor do I think I'll ever come up with a definitive result on the subject. But in trying to find the best possible explanation for life as I know it, the most logical and fair way I can do it is to keep score.


Now, God (and by "God", I'm referring to the Judeo-Christian concept with which I was raised. But also the "God-the-creator" and really any idea of a singular, all powerful deity that has yet to be defined) has some pretty decent marks in his favor. Gravity, the Fibonacci system, orgasms, the color spectrum, babies laughing, shocking coincidences that appear to be fate or destiny...


But that really ain't nothing compared to war, famine, child abuse, sexual violence, reality TV...


And some more common, everyday things too. For example, bunnies. 


BUNNIES!!!1!




Yes, bunnies are the cutest, fluffiest things ever. You might say that such a lovable creature is truly the handiwork of God Almighty, for He breathes goodness and joy into the world and creates something from nothing, and light from darkness. But are you at all familiar with the rabbit digestive system? Rabbits are herbivores with a diet high in fiber from which they draw very little nutrition. At least, at a first go. Several times a day, a rabbit produces and excretes cecotropes, which are compact little pellets of nutrients that in order to get the full benefit of, must be consumed a second time. That is to say, bunnies have a physiological requirement to eat their own crap.


...


WTF?!


What kind of loving, caring god would make the cutest, fluffiest thing ever and decide to make it function that way? What was the brainstorming session like? Does God just have a really bizarre sense of humor? Or did he just get lazy? So the bunny is a clear strike against God. There's no way an interactive, all-knowing, all-powerful, Lord of  the Cosmos could have allowed this to happen. Not even from the hands-off, "Intelligent-Design" creator God that's so popular these days. That still implies that the intention for the rabbit was always to have it eat its own crap. 


To be fair though, this is also not a very strong argument in favor of evolution either. That means that this seriously flawed biology was really the best the bunny could do. Out of every possible mutation and survival-based development, this was the best-case-scenario for rabbits to win at life. Eating crap. 


In any case, you see how this game gets depressing really fast. And I don't want to play anymore. Read more: http://www.blogdoctor.me/2007/02/expandable-post-summaries.html#ixzz1Ygp5vxLJ

3 comments:

  1. Well,
    A) bunnies only really produce cecotropes once a day, usually at night.
    B) Bunnies find their cecotropes delicious! It's only your silly human mores that find it appalling. In fact, the fact that rabbits find their own crap delicious is a point in favor of a merciful god: "Well, that only way you can break down hay is going to be to eat your own crap. So I'll make your own crap delicious to you!"
    C) Carrying around your midnight snack in your large intestine is a rather elegant way to do things when you're a prey animal that's constantly being hunted and have no opposable thumbs. Cows accomplish the same thing by regurgitating and re-chewing their food all day. Something that a bunny on the run doesn't have the time to do.

    point of fact: all the points you have against god are acts of man, not god... aside from cecotropes.

    ... I love you!

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  2. - It's not so much as eating crap is disgusting (which it is), but the fact that's it's so inefficient and silly. If a god really said "Well, that only way you can break down hay is going to be to eat your own crap. So I'll make your own crap delicious to you!", did it ever occur to him/her that maybe, just don't make them have to do that?

    - If bunnies got a higher level of nutrition per meal then maybe the midnight snack wouldn't be needed. And I'm aware of the cow similarities but, as they're not nearly as cute, I felt they weren't a compelling enough argument.

    -Yes, caused by humans. But if you believe in an all powerful god who watches as we do and is compassionate and loving, then such things could never and would never happen. So really they're just strikes against that particular flavor of god. I think god-the-creator, who just made stuff and then took a nap for several millennia isn't at fault for that sort of thing.

    Plus, you know. I just thought it was funny.

    <3

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  3. I'm so glad I came across this. This has to be the best, and most inventive, probing of the existence of God I've come across.

    I knew rabbits ate their own crap, but I didn't know that was why. It just seems so...well, pointless. I mean, if God designed all these animals you'd think he (He? I'm a bit of a heathen so I'm unsure of the appropriate capitalisation) would remember all of the efficient digestive systems he made. Unless rabbits came first, and he just kept them around as a reminder of the importance of not slacking off when it comes to digestive system design.

    "Carrying around your midnight snack in your large intestine is a rather elegant way to do things when you're a prey animal that's constantly being hunted and have no opposable thumbs." >> This also made me chuckle, and also appreciative of my thumbs.

    ps. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about rabbits. I find them kind of sinister. It's the practically silent thing (that, and the fact I was savaged by one as a child). I just don't trust them..

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